On this very second, 7 days ago, on September 01 at 12:13:32, You last replied to me and said: „No“
This has been the hardest week of my life. I miss You so incredible much. You were my joy every day, and you have been such an integral part of my life for all these past months. You healed my broken heart, you gave my life purpose and made me feel whole again for the first time in years.
Your disappearance leaves a burning open wound on my soul.
The pain is so excruciating that it keeps me from functioning. I can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t work, I can’t sleep.
There is only You, and it seems only your love can heal. I’m akin to beg You: „Please make it stop, please give me a sign.“
But You take your time, as much as you need. I want to take in all the pain for the both of us. And I want you to know, it is okay that You keep quiet. You will have your reasons, and if this is, what You feel You need to do, I support Your decision.
I succumbed to a nasty tonsillitis that keeps me in bed most of the days. This seems to me like a blessing, because only when I’m dozing off, I don’t constantly think of You.
I hope, as my body finds the strength to fight this infection, you’ll find the strength to open up communication with me again.
I’m here, whenever You are ready, on whatever condition You seem fit, subject to any rule You need to impose.